It’s getting more and more frequent that I write to you, or at least it feels that way. Time is passing in a weird kind of way at the moment, and it feels like it’s just flying by. I reckon that’s because I’ve just been so busy and working so much. It feels like just a couple of weeks ago I started at my first proper job, but I’ve been there over three months now.
Christmas seems to have snuck up on me far faster than expected. I thought I had loads of time, but now it’s Christmas Eve, and I still feel completely unprepared. I have at least bought all my Christmas presents, and mostly wrapped. In fact I was up until about 1am yesterday finishing up something I’d been working on for a friend. Last year I was so much more organised, but then again I had to be more organised, just because I spent last Christmas in America.
This year will be my first Christmas at home without you where I’ve spent it at home. Last year I was in a different country, with a different family, with different traditions. I was so busy trying to take everything in that it was hard to miss you. Plus I wouldn’t have been expecting to see you, or any of my family over the Christmas period that year anyway. It’s that kind of thing where you’re not expecting someone to be there, so you don’t notice that they’re not kind of thing. This year will be different because I’ll actually be at home with my family. I’m also excited about the fact that I’m getting two days in a row off work without any other commitments.
Despite the fact that it’s pretty much Christmas it really doesn’t feel like it yet. I don’t even feel in the Christmas spirit yet. I’m not even sure why that is. I’m not sure if it’s a combination of the fact that I’ve been working all the way up to Christmas, including today, because of the depression that is currently kicking my arse, or just a part of growing up as a whole. Maybe it’s a combination of all three. It probably doesn’t help that I haven’t had decorations to put up, and that I missed most of the annual Christmas Eve party that usually makes it feel just like Christmas. Anyway, no matter what happens this Christmas I’ll make sure I drink a whiskey or a beer for you.
Merry Christmas Dad,
Love Sophie x