Ciao, Adios, I’m Done

Apart from last year, for the past few years I’ve written something about the past year, or about the year ahead. This year is no different, though this is actually my second attempt at writing this post. I got about halfway through my first attempt before my mental state changed (as it so often does these days, I swear it’s worse than the weather sometimes) and I decided I wanted to go in a completely different direction.

This year, I’m spending New Year’s Eve almost exactly the same as last year. That is by myself, watching Netflix, and getting slightly drunk. The only big difference is the alcohol I’m drinking this year. Last year I was alone because I had landed back from America that afternoon and I was jet-lagged, exhausted, and had an exam/assignment due the same week. This year it’s because I’m working both New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, all my family are off out, and I’ve yet to form a really good friendship group in this new city to invite over to hang out with me for New Years.

It’s not the only similarity between this year and last year. I started the year with two jobs, and I’m ending the year with two jobs, they’re just two different ones. I also still don’t have a Dad, but given that they’ve yet to figure out a way to bring back the dead (thank God), I figured that it went pretty much without saying. That’s pretty much where all similarities end. As I’ve already said, this is my second attempt at writing this post, mostly because I’ve had such a mixed year that I can’t quite work out how I feel about it.

It’s definitely been a very mixed year, full of high’s and low’s, and quite frankly, some really cool shit. It’s not been an easy year, but I’m still here, still fighting, and determined to make next year better. This year I graduated my masters, I travelled down to London for a parkour weekend by myself, I went through a break up, I went to my first proper Pride weekend, I partly learnt how to snowboard, and I moved away from Newcastle. Altogether it’s been an interesting year, and I’ve honestly had some truly life changing moments.

One of the most life-altering moments I’ve had this year was all the way back in March, when I zip-lined across the River Tyne. This whole event popped up on my Facebook in around January last year, and although I don’t really believe in divine intervention, or fate, in this instance it felt like the universe had aligned to make it just so. My Dad had two strokes in his lifetime, one leaving him permanently disabled, and one that actually cost him his life. This event was to raise money for the Stroke Association, and took place on what would have been his 47th Birthday. To me this meant I had to do it, and I’m so glad I did. It was so much fun, and such a rush. There was also a moment, somewhere between being sat on the edge of that building, and returning my kit to the organisers, where I had a bit of an epiphany. I realised that life is short, and it can end at any moment, so we have to make the most of it whilst we’re here. Go on those adventures, do the things that scare you, and don’t waste time on things that don’t make you happy.

I’ve not only had some incredible experiences this year but I’ve also met some truly incredible people. I’ve strengthened some of my existing friendships and also made some incredible new ones, often in the places where I least expected them. I made an amazing group of friends up in Newcastle, who despite the fact I don’t get to see them nearly as often as I would like, I’d consider almost like my family. I know that these guys will be here for me through everything. I also got incredibly lucky at one of my jobs, just because the colleagues I have there feel a lot less like just colleagues and a lot more like actual friends. Despite the fact that I spend far too much time annoying the shit out of them, and the fact that they tell me they don’t like me at least once a day, they’ve made my past few months a hell of a lot brighter. Honestly, I’m not sure where I’d be without the friends I’ve made this year, I love all them to bits. And every single one of them is probably rolling their eyes at all this mushy sentimentality. I don’t blame them, I’m even making myself feel a bit queasy. No doubt I’ll be back to calling them all offensive names tomorrow and the world’s order will be restored.

This is the time of year where people make all sort of resolutions about what they’re going to achieve in the year ahead, and normally these resolutions are broken by the end of January. This year the only target I actually want to meet is learning how to drive; however, I also want to make some little changes to my day to day life. Things such as doing more things just because I want to, and looking for the positives in situations. Overall this year has been pretty decent, and I’m hoping next year will be better still. One thing I can count on is that it’s certainly going to be busy. Happy New Year Everyone,

Sophie x


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