Dear Dad (Your Little Boy Is All Grown Up)

Dear Dad,

Today is an important day. Today is the day that Fabian turns 18. You’re not here to well and truly embarrass him, which I know you would have taken great pleasure in, so I guess I’ll have to do it. Not that it’s much of a hardship, I’m sure there’s something in the big sister code that says you have to embarrass younger siblings at all costs.

Embarrassing him started early. One of my first memories is of dressing him up in pink farmyard trousers, he wasn’t too impressed. From what I remember of the photograph he was screaming his head off. I don’t really blame him. I’m sure he’ll be pleased to know I didn’t manage to find that photo.

Possibly the first ever photo of Fabian

I did however manage to find several other photographs, a lot of which are embarrassing. But let’s start at the beginning, do you remember the day he was born? I know I do, because I was the first person to be told I had a little brother. He was a cute little baby, but I do remember him crying a lot.

There’s a lot of me and Ellie holding him when he was first born, and a lot of me Ellie holding Morgan as well. It was quite handy that me and Ellie and him and Morgan were about the same age, it meant that we played together quite well. I found some very cute photos of him and Morgan when they were very young.

Fabian, left, and Morgan, right



I think me and Fabian had a bit of a love/hate relationship when we were young, much to the despair of you and mum. I do remember that he used to play with my dolls a lot, and I’m certain I used to pick on him for it (sorry Fabian). You’ll be thankful to know that we don’t still argue like cat and dog.

He was always his own person, wasn’t he? Do you remember his obsession with health and safety? He used to have those traffic cones and his little hi-vis jacket. It was so funny. Speaking of dressing up, do you remember when he went through his phase where he was obsessed with military stuff? I blame that entirely on you.

Fabian, aged three.

You used to take him to all these old history and war museums. I remember so many trips to Elvington Air Museum as a kid, I think we both loved those trips. You used to take him shooting as well, that was your thing that just the two of you did. Do you remember that time he won the shooting competition when he was about 9 and they gave him a bottle of wine? I think you oh so graciously offered to drink it for him.

Speaking of alcohol, do you remember the first time we got him drunk? We’d gone around to the neighbours and given him two big bottles of Wkd. He was only 12 and the combination of sugar and alcohol was hilarious. I’m sure if I dug through my digital library I’d find the video of him dancing to Mr. Brightside. I remember his floppy hair bouncing around the place.

Fabian in the nativity at school

That’s the thing, all the later photos of him are all on computers somewhere. It’s both a blessing and a curse of the digital age. I still have plenty of early photos of him to embarrass him with, like when he was a shepherd in his school nativity, I don’t know if you went to see him in it, but it was adorable.

I do remember that you used to wave him off to primary school from the front step in your dressing gown. You wanted the extra sleep, and the school was literally just across the road, so you used to watch him all the way there. I think he used to hate the fact that all you would wear was the dressing gown and nothing else.

I’m sure you’d be proud of the man he’s grown up to be. I know I am. He’s smart, he works hard at school, and he loves golf. He’s going off to university in September. St Andrews if he does well on his A-Levels, which he should do.

He’s developed your taste for craft beer and he shares your love of expensive gadgets, though thankfully he’s a little more careful with what he spends money on than you were fortunately (no offence Dad, but you did buy a lot of useless crap).  I wish you could be here to see him.

Me and Fabian – 2000
Me and Fabian - 2017
Me and Fabian – 2017

I’ve added in one of the first pictures of me and Fabian together, and one the most recent ones. We’ve changed so much haven’t we? It’s clear to say he definitely looks like you, no question of paternity there! Poor Fabian. I’m just glad he doesn’t have your mullet!


Love, Sophie.

P.S. I’ll have a drink with him for you.


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