I Ran Right Into A Wall

I always knew that this whole running thing would be hard, like really hard. I mean that’s the whole reason I signed up for it in the first place. I wanted to push myself, to challenge myself, to force myself out of my comfort zone. Just recently however, I feel like it’s all been getting so much harder. I feel like I’ve run right into a wall.

Recently I realised that if I was ever going to run this 10 miles in October then I was going to have to up my training game. Running maybe twice in a week on a good week just wasn’t going to cut it. I realised that I was going to have to stop making shitty excuses not to go. I had to give myself that metaphorical kick up the arse.

I have to admit that I did have a little bit of help in the whole arse kicking department (though I’d like to point out not literally, that’d be weird). The first thing that gave me a kick up the arse was realising that the celebrities I look up to that are super fit and toned didn’t just get there by magic. It takes them some serious effort and work, and, if the things other people have told me are to be believed, sometimes even includes working out twice in one day. It also means not skipping just because you’re on holiday or travelling.

My second bit of arse kicking came when one of my favourite celebrities told me that if I really wanted it I was going to have to work my arse off for it. That I had to get up every day at 6am and go do it. Put the effort in every day. Admittedly she was talking abut my writing, but I figured I could apply it to working out as well.

Now when I’m having a morning where all I want is an extra hour in bed I think to myself ‘What would Tasya say?’ I’m fairly certain that she’d probably say something along the lines of getting my butt out of bed, that the only person responsible for my own success is me. Or maybe those are my own thoughts, but for whatever reason I listen to it more when I imagine it’s someone else saying them. As long as it works I’m not gonna question it too hard.

So at the moment it’s not my motivation that’s the issue. I have tons of that. Right now the biggest issue is my progress, or lack thereof. I feel like I’m running and running and running and not getting anywhere. I’m not getting better, I’m not running further, I’m not going further. I’m just not improving at all.

This lack of improvement is frustrating me no end. I hate feeling like I’m putting in loads of effort in and not getting anywhere in return. I think most people hate that feeling. I’m hoping that if I just keep working at it I’ll eventually get past this block, that I’ll start seeing improvements again. Though a small part of me is terrified that I’ll never get past this point.

However, for now I’ll focus on the small improvements. Like the fact I’ve lost 8kg since I was at my heaviest, and the fact that I no longer get quite as out of breath when I run for the bus.

Sophie x


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